According to my Writer's Craft teacher there are five levels of reading. Those five levels are:
1) Literal
2) Emotional
3) Moral
4) Symbolic
5) Hyperbolic (Anagogical)
With this new information, my class is supposed to devise a list of the best movies and/or books we have seen that fit into all of the five categories. This is my list:
1) Literal
-"The Black Donnellys", written by Thomas P. Kelly
2) Emotional
-"I Am Legend"
3) Moral
-"Aesop's Fables Collection"
4) Symbolic
-"Fahrenheit 451", written by Ray Bradbury
5) Hyperbolic
-"This is Spinal Tap"
So, there you have it. That's my list. Maybe you'll want to watch or read some of them. If I may take this opportunity, "This is Spinal Tap" is quite the movie and it's just so darn funny! I suggest you watch it.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Thursday, February 18, 2010
The Encounter
I was sitting eagerly at my desk in Writer’s Craft class listening to the teacher’s lesson concerning the writing of short stories. Our task was to go to the computer lab down the hall and create a short story to post on our blogs. I could not wait to begin writing my story since I had such a great idea. I decided I would write about my rabbit, Flapjacks, and how she is just so darn cute. However, on the way from the Writer’s Craft room to the computer lab, David Lindsay, a school chum of mine, bumped into me, knocking me into another school chum, Dan Cuberovic, who came crashing down on the hard tile floor. After composing myself and brushing the floor dirt of my pants, I noticed that Dan, the person into whom I had crashed, was bleeding out from his head profusely. I began screaming, and David, noticing my screaming, began screaming too.
“Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Look what you did!”
“What do we do? Call 911? You’re the lifeguard – check him out”, David yelled to me.
Panicking, I bent down to analyze Dan’s state and much to my dismay (for lack of a better word) my analysis showed that he was…dead.
“Oh my gosh!” I screamed.
“What? What? Is he going to be okay?” asked David.
“I think he’s dead, man!”
“Dead? Like, dead dead?” David questioned.
“What other kind of de… David, what are we going to do? There is no point in calling an ambulance now…”
“Let’s get rid of him. You know, burn the evidence”, suggested David.
And that’s where it all went downhill. Five minutes earlier I had been on my way to the computer lab to write a short story and now I had been an accessory to unintentional murder. And, to top it all off, the killer and I were going to dispose of our dead school friend. I could not believe that this was happening to me.
“We better do this quickly before someone notices us”, said David.
“Where are we taking him?” I questioned.
“…the dump. We’ll put him in a black garbage bag and drive him over there. We’ll say he’s organic wastes”, said David.
Thankfully David had passed his G2 test the week before, which allowed us the ability to get to the dump without anyone else’s help. David and I made a stop at the janitor’s closet to grab an industrial sized garbage bag, and then we piled into his car, placing dead ‘ol Danny in the back seat.
“Drive fast, my friend. Drive fast”, I said to David.
David was apparently speeding on the way to the dump (who knew doing 160 km/h in a 50 km/h zone was highly illegal?), and as a result a parade of police cars began to pursue us.
“CRAP!” David screamed…a lot.
“Whadda we do? Oh no, Davey. Look what you’ve got us into now! You just keep messing things up for me don’t you? I was going to be a famous musician and now I’m going to spend the rest of my life in jail. Fix this!”
“All I can do is floor it and hope we lose them. We’re at the point of no return now”, David told me.
I was sure that the police were going to catch up to us! They were hollering at us with their megaphones and flashing their sirens, honking their horns and even shooting their guns. Who knew speeding would cause such a kafuffle?
So, David pressed the gas down to the floor of the car and we made a break for it with the police hot on our tails. I’ve never felt like a fugitive before in my life until this moment. It was like something straight out of Hollywood. Suddenly, there was a total solar eclipse and the sky went dark. I thought to myself that this was the perfect time for us to escape the pursuit of the police and then immediately after that I said,
“David, this is a ‘deus ex machina’, to which David then replied,
“Wouldn’t our English teachers be proud that you were thinking about literary terms while we were being SHOT AT DURING A HIGH SPEED CHASE, as a result of which we will probably be SENT TO JAIL AND CHARGED WITH MANSLAUGHTER?”
“Oooh, right. So, don’t just sit there, Davey. Lose them!”
David made a quick 3 point turn and began driving in the other direction. By the time that the unlikely development of the eclipse was over, we were a few kilometres away from the police and had fortunately escaped them. We eventually arrived at the dump and were able to claim Dan as organic waste. As we were throwing Dan into the correct bin, his head poked out of the bag. A passerby noticed this and looked at the bag with perplexity.
“He’s onto us”, whispered David to me.
“Oh, David. You and your mannequins. Always trying to throw them into the organic bins when they should be put in the plastic one”, I said to try and avoid any unnecessary interrogation.
We waited until the passerby passed all the way by and then accomplished throwing Dan into the bin.
“PHEW. Disaster averted,” said David.
“Yah, except what will people think when Dan is not at school for the next…ever?!”
“Hadn’t thought of that. His parents might be worried too, you know,” said David.
“And someone will figure out that we’re responsible for this”, I said.
“There’s only one thing we can do then…”, said David.
So, David and I piled back into his car and began to make our way to Mexico, where we would spend the rest of our lives as Esteban and Juanita.
“Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Look what you did!”
“What do we do? Call 911? You’re the lifeguard – check him out”, David yelled to me.
Panicking, I bent down to analyze Dan’s state and much to my dismay (for lack of a better word) my analysis showed that he was…dead.
“Oh my gosh!” I screamed.
“What? What? Is he going to be okay?” asked David.
“I think he’s dead, man!”
“Dead? Like, dead dead?” David questioned.
“What other kind of de… David, what are we going to do? There is no point in calling an ambulance now…”
“Let’s get rid of him. You know, burn the evidence”, suggested David.
And that’s where it all went downhill. Five minutes earlier I had been on my way to the computer lab to write a short story and now I had been an accessory to unintentional murder. And, to top it all off, the killer and I were going to dispose of our dead school friend. I could not believe that this was happening to me.
“We better do this quickly before someone notices us”, said David.
“Where are we taking him?” I questioned.
“…the dump. We’ll put him in a black garbage bag and drive him over there. We’ll say he’s organic wastes”, said David.
Thankfully David had passed his G2 test the week before, which allowed us the ability to get to the dump without anyone else’s help. David and I made a stop at the janitor’s closet to grab an industrial sized garbage bag, and then we piled into his car, placing dead ‘ol Danny in the back seat.
“Drive fast, my friend. Drive fast”, I said to David.
David was apparently speeding on the way to the dump (who knew doing 160 km/h in a 50 km/h zone was highly illegal?), and as a result a parade of police cars began to pursue us.
“CRAP!” David screamed…a lot.
“Whadda we do? Oh no, Davey. Look what you’ve got us into now! You just keep messing things up for me don’t you? I was going to be a famous musician and now I’m going to spend the rest of my life in jail. Fix this!”
“All I can do is floor it and hope we lose them. We’re at the point of no return now”, David told me.
I was sure that the police were going to catch up to us! They were hollering at us with their megaphones and flashing their sirens, honking their horns and even shooting their guns. Who knew speeding would cause such a kafuffle?
So, David pressed the gas down to the floor of the car and we made a break for it with the police hot on our tails. I’ve never felt like a fugitive before in my life until this moment. It was like something straight out of Hollywood. Suddenly, there was a total solar eclipse and the sky went dark. I thought to myself that this was the perfect time for us to escape the pursuit of the police and then immediately after that I said,
“David, this is a ‘deus ex machina’, to which David then replied,
“Wouldn’t our English teachers be proud that you were thinking about literary terms while we were being SHOT AT DURING A HIGH SPEED CHASE, as a result of which we will probably be SENT TO JAIL AND CHARGED WITH MANSLAUGHTER?”
“Oooh, right. So, don’t just sit there, Davey. Lose them!”
David made a quick 3 point turn and began driving in the other direction. By the time that the unlikely development of the eclipse was over, we were a few kilometres away from the police and had fortunately escaped them. We eventually arrived at the dump and were able to claim Dan as organic waste. As we were throwing Dan into the correct bin, his head poked out of the bag. A passerby noticed this and looked at the bag with perplexity.
“He’s onto us”, whispered David to me.
“Oh, David. You and your mannequins. Always trying to throw them into the organic bins when they should be put in the plastic one”, I said to try and avoid any unnecessary interrogation.
We waited until the passerby passed all the way by and then accomplished throwing Dan into the bin.
“PHEW. Disaster averted,” said David.
“Yah, except what will people think when Dan is not at school for the next…ever?!”
“Hadn’t thought of that. His parents might be worried too, you know,” said David.
“And someone will figure out that we’re responsible for this”, I said.
“There’s only one thing we can do then…”, said David.
So, David and I piled back into his car and began to make our way to Mexico, where we would spend the rest of our lives as Esteban and Juanita.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
"Word" Story
You would never have guessed what happened...
I was driving home from my music audition at York University yesterday when Billie Joe Armstrong, lead singer of Rock band "Green Day", pounded his fist against my car's window! HOLY CRAP! This would have been the most awesome moment I've yet to experience, except I rolled down the window to talk to him, not remembering that I was chewing bubble gum, which would not have mattered except I started screaming with excitement...and the bubble gum came flying out of my mouth onto Billie Joe's face. Being as cool as he is, he ignored the gum and brushed it off of his face with his hand. Weirdly, Billie Joe said, "Do you have the time..?" and then I looked at the clock and said, "Yes, it's...", but I was interrupted as Billie Joe said, "...the time to sing?". I was so confused. What was Billie Joe doing here...outside of my car...in Canada (when he lives in California)? Seeing the perplexed and bewildered expression on my face, Billie continued on by saying that Green Day was performing an impromptu world tour and that they wanted a new backup singer, and that all of the guys in the band thought I would be the best choice for the job. All I could think of at this moment was how unusual this situation was and how I think I just peed my pants from excitement... I became so wrapped up in imagining what it would be like to perform with Green Day that I totally forgot my schedule was booked solid for the next three years! I wanted nothing more than to be a part of this concert series, but how would it be possible? I began to shriek with panic because this was the opportunity of a lifetime and I was surely going to miss out on it. Since I had not said a word to Billie Joe in quite a few minutes, he assumed that I was not interested and he began backing away from the car slowly. He said he would be sure to find someone else since I was clearly not interested. WAIT. NO. DON'T GO. Why didn't I say any of that? I was so mad at myself when I remembered that there was a way to fix this situation. I reached deep into my jeans pocket and pulled from it my Acme Emergency Eraser, I opened the glove box and pulled out my handy-dandy schedule, and then I began erasing madly, feeling quite pleased that I had written everything on the schedule in pencil. Billie Joe had walked even farther away now so I knew I had little time to waste. After I had cleared myself of all prior commitments, I commenced to wave my arms feverishly until I caught Billie Joe's attention. Fortunately for my career, he came walking back to my car. However, he said he would not re-extend the invitation of me singing for the tour until I gave him a ... cupcake? Seriously? A cupcake? Luckily, my Acme Emergency Cupcake was in the console and I was able to give that to him. He edged close as can be to the car so as to assure that I would not pull the cupcake away from him and he was quite pleased as he scarfed it down. Billie Joe then said that it would not have mattered if I did not give him the cupcake and that Green Day would be more than happy to have me sing with them. My dreams were coming true, and to prove it I belted out the loudest "HALLELUJAH" I have ever sang in my life. I'm pretty sure that I heard a choir of angels singing behind me, and there might have even been a ray of light shining on me, too. Either way, the tour starts tomorrow and I could not be more excited! Thankfully, there won't be much rehearsing required because I know absolutely every Green Day song ever released. And I swear to you, that is exactly how it all went down!
What's it like to be a zipper? I'll tell you!
The zipper - you can find zippers almost everywhere, if you look - pants, coats, pillow covers, boots, and they are quite a useful invention. However, do you know what it's like to be a zipper? Well, do you? Probably not, I would think. As you read this you are probably thinking 'who cares about zippers?', but do not feel like this! Zippers, although you suspect they are inanimate, have feelings too, and I can attest to this statement because I know exactly what it is like to be a zipper. Why? I am a zipper.
It's not fair, the fact that I do all that opening and closing of your clothing, but all you do is complain about me! SO WHAT if I occasionally get stuck on the way back up after you use the bathroom? Do you think I do that on purpose? Of course I don't, so stop getting mad at me for it. And on the opposite end of accusations, do you think I enjoy being pulled up and down multiple times every day? It's no pleasure, I'll tell you that. It makes me nautious, in fact. I have motion sickness, but you don't ever seem to take that into account. It's always about how I can help serve you by closing your pants for you, but in all honesty, it would be nice to be considered once in a while. Ever heard of Gravol? Yeah, you have? It's pretty cruel of you to allow me to continue on making all of your opening and closing easier all the while suffering from this terrible sickness. That makes you a jerk, you know.
And what about the laundry? You're supposed to wash your clothes INSIDE OUT, not right side out! That darn laundry machine smacks me around ferociously and I just take it from you. Heed my warning though - I shall put up with this abuse no longer. Until I am appreciated for my usefulness, given some meds to ease my sickness and until I am treated properly when it comes to the laundry, I am quitting (being your zipper, that is).Here is my two weeks notice, and you better believe I'm dead serious. I apologize for the inconvenience, but truly, it's nothing compared to the inconvenience you cause me. Zippers have feelings too, and it will do you some good to know and accept this.
Until next time,
Zippy McZipperson
It's not fair, the fact that I do all that opening and closing of your clothing, but all you do is complain about me! SO WHAT if I occasionally get stuck on the way back up after you use the bathroom? Do you think I do that on purpose? Of course I don't, so stop getting mad at me for it. And on the opposite end of accusations, do you think I enjoy being pulled up and down multiple times every day? It's no pleasure, I'll tell you that. It makes me nautious, in fact. I have motion sickness, but you don't ever seem to take that into account. It's always about how I can help serve you by closing your pants for you, but in all honesty, it would be nice to be considered once in a while. Ever heard of Gravol? Yeah, you have? It's pretty cruel of you to allow me to continue on making all of your opening and closing easier all the while suffering from this terrible sickness. That makes you a jerk, you know.
And what about the laundry? You're supposed to wash your clothes INSIDE OUT, not right side out! That darn laundry machine smacks me around ferociously and I just take it from you. Heed my warning though - I shall put up with this abuse no longer. Until I am appreciated for my usefulness, given some meds to ease my sickness and until I am treated properly when it comes to the laundry, I am quitting (being your zipper, that is).Here is my two weeks notice, and you better believe I'm dead serious. I apologize for the inconvenience, but truly, it's nothing compared to the inconvenience you cause me. Zippers have feelings too, and it will do you some good to know and accept this.
Until next time,
Zippy McZipperson
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
5 Books I'd Like To Eat...
There are many books that I would like to eat (for multiple reasons), but I am limited to selecting only 5. Here goes!
1. The Oxford English Dictionary
I would eat this book because it consists of pretty much every word used in the English language. I would never again be stumped by words such as "efficacious" and "superfluous".I would be able to say absolutely every word I ever needed to know, and I'd know the meaning of all of those words. I would literally be a walking dictionary. Awesome!
2. The Canadian Encylopedia (all volumes)
I would eat this set of books because contained within the pages is a wealth of knowledge. My brain would become an information database and I would be a genious! There is basically nothing I would not know!
3. The Oxford Thesaurus of English
I would eat this book for two reasons. Firstly, I enjoy saying its name - "thesaurus" - has a nice ring to it, no? And secondly, I would eat this book because after I found the meaning of the words, I could find a better way of saying them ... I'd substitute "pleonastic" for "superfluous". In essence, I would sound much more intelligent after eating this book.
4. Twilight (the complete series)
I would eat this series of books because they do not deserve to remain readable! They are basically pop "crap". Though Mark Twain said, "Those who do not read are no better off than those who cannot", it is arguable that these books will leave you with nothing more than wasted time. I personally feel that you should not "waste" your time reading books like Twilight when you could be reading something such as M. Scott Peck's "The Road Less Travelled" and come away with enlightenment. Thus, I would rid the world of Twilight (and other books like it if I were allowed to select more than 5 books to eat).
5. In Search of Lost Time
According to Amazon.com, "This novel, while generally published in several volumes is considered a single novel and is in the Guinness Book of World Records for being the longest novel". I would read this book if I was truly hungry because there are so many pages my famine would turn to fullness. That is why I would eat this book.
So, there you have it! That is my list of books that I would eat, for different reasons. However, if I was really given the option to actually and literally eat books ... I would not do so. No thanks. I'll still to chocolate.
1. The Oxford English Dictionary
I would eat this book because it consists of pretty much every word used in the English language. I would never again be stumped by words such as "efficacious" and "superfluous".I would be able to say absolutely every word I ever needed to know, and I'd know the meaning of all of those words. I would literally be a walking dictionary. Awesome!
2. The Canadian Encylopedia (all volumes)
I would eat this set of books because contained within the pages is a wealth of knowledge. My brain would become an information database and I would be a genious! There is basically nothing I would not know!
3. The Oxford Thesaurus of English
I would eat this book for two reasons. Firstly, I enjoy saying its name - "thesaurus" - has a nice ring to it, no? And secondly, I would eat this book because after I found the meaning of the words, I could find a better way of saying them ... I'd substitute "pleonastic" for "superfluous". In essence, I would sound much more intelligent after eating this book.
4. Twilight (the complete series)
I would eat this series of books because they do not deserve to remain readable! They are basically pop "crap". Though Mark Twain said, "Those who do not read are no better off than those who cannot", it is arguable that these books will leave you with nothing more than wasted time. I personally feel that you should not "waste" your time reading books like Twilight when you could be reading something such as M. Scott Peck's "The Road Less Travelled" and come away with enlightenment. Thus, I would rid the world of Twilight (and other books like it if I were allowed to select more than 5 books to eat).
5. In Search of Lost Time
According to Amazon.com, "This novel, while generally published in several volumes is considered a single novel and is in the Guinness Book of World Records for being the longest novel". I would read this book if I was truly hungry because there are so many pages my famine would turn to fullness. That is why I would eat this book.
So, there you have it! That is my list of books that I would eat, for different reasons. However, if I was really given the option to actually and literally eat books ... I would not do so. No thanks. I'll still to chocolate.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
25 Things I Like to Write or Write About
I like to write:
1. shopping lists
2. to-do lists
3. letters
4. notes to friends
5. Facebook posts
6. point-form notes
7. funny limericks
8. poems (augmented from their original form to new comical ones)
9. journals
10. e-mails
11. Twitter posts
12. Myspace posts (I know it's outdated, but who cares?)
I like to write about:
13. music (in general)
14. rabbits
15. books
16. what I did during the day
17. my friends
18. my aspirations
19. GREEN DAY
20. "bad", that is to say, "tasteless" music
21. sad things
22. places I've been
23. funny moments
24. why I'm way too bust for my own good
25. rabbits?
There you go. That's 25 things that I like to write or write about. Enjoy!
1. shopping lists
2. to-do lists
3. letters
4. notes to friends
5. Facebook posts
6. point-form notes
7. funny limericks
8. poems (augmented from their original form to new comical ones)
9. journals
10. e-mails
11. Twitter posts
12. Myspace posts (I know it's outdated, but who cares?)
I like to write about:
13. music (in general)
14. rabbits
15. books
16. what I did during the day
17. my friends
18. my aspirations
19. GREEN DAY
20. "bad", that is to say, "tasteless" music
21. sad things
22. places I've been
23. funny moments
24. why I'm way too bust for my own good
25. rabbits?
There you go. That's 25 things that I like to write or write about. Enjoy!
About Samantha
Hello! :)
If you don't already know, I'm a Grade 12 student at Orchard Park Secondary. There's not really that much else to know about me other than I'm an aspiring Rock Star and music means everything to me. I play a great many instruments and play in many bands, including an acoustic group with my boyfriend.
Perhaps the most important thing to note is that this blog is specific to my Writer's Craft course and that I probably would not be blogging were it not for this course. We shall see if this turns out to be something I enjoy.
Until next time,
Samantha
If you don't already know, I'm a Grade 12 student at Orchard Park Secondary. There's not really that much else to know about me other than I'm an aspiring Rock Star and music means everything to me. I play a great many instruments and play in many bands, including an acoustic group with my boyfriend.
Perhaps the most important thing to note is that this blog is specific to my Writer's Craft course and that I probably would not be blogging were it not for this course. We shall see if this turns out to be something I enjoy.
Until next time,
Samantha
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